Leona Moon, as some of you might have guessed, is not my real name.

Although my sweet mother is a hippie-ass double Libra, and despite the fact that I entered this world as a cult baby and also used to call a tree house my home (literally I lived in a tree), my real name is actually painfully mediocre. But when I decided to venture down this celestially lit pathway into the deeper realms of astrology, I was working as a staff writer at a local newspaper.

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My editors at the time, an ever-so creative Pisces and a practically grounded Taurus, advised that I use a pseudonym. Something about keeping my name anonymous so that our readers would continue to take me seriously. Totally absurd, right? Channeling all the Virgo I have in my chart, I agreed to proceed with caution. And after much deliberation, the three of us arrived at a final designation: Leona Moon. Why Leona Moon? It’s fairly simple, and unabashedly creative: I have way too much Leo in my chart.

And while my namesake might have been conceived on a bed of lies, I assure you that my love for the cosmos and for throwing every single astrological sign under the bus is nothing but sincere. So, it’s here I’ll take a break from meme-ing my heart out on Instagram to serve up weekly horoscopes–guiding you through some of the most significant milestones of your life, if you’ll have me.

For more Leona Moon Astrology follow on Instagram and Facebook. (@leonamoonastrology)

Leona Moon photos: Torrey Fox Photography; Full Moon and Stars photos: William Mackie.